Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
