It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
