you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
My ATM looks so different sober.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
