Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
