guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
