Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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