Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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