she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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