i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
