She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
