May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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