We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
