there's paper in my vomit.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
