I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
