Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
