peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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