He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize