Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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