did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
me + whiskey = a bad person
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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