But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
