So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
