I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
