We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
