Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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