Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
