somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
This gyro tastes like lonliness
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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