Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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