Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
