Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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