i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize