I bet he comes in French.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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