I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
