i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
