Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
