Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
