at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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