Dual....:-)
Is it because I queefed?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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