i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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