But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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