Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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