I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
