just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
