apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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