apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize