Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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