She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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