apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
