Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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