I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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