I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
