everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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