Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize