Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
