Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
