It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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