I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
