I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
