I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize