Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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