Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
