He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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