your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
The air taste purple.
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