is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
This is classic penis vs brain.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
