she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
