if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
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