I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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