WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize