Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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