we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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