He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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