I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I AM VODKA MAN
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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