I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
