Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
