i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
