I want to stick my p in your. b.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize