I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
