I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
