I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
