you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Are my feet made of real feet?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
