Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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