look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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